All too often, children pay the price for their parents’ sins and mistakes. They get caught up in chaos, drama, conflict or circumstances way beyond their control. And sometimes, it changes the course of their young lives forever.
Two siblings have found themselves in and out of different foster homes, and have even been separated on more than one occasion. Extended family assumed their older half-brother would step in after their parents passed away. But he’s refused to take them in. He says the children are the result of his father’s affair and he wants nothing to do with them.
His father left 11 years ago, and went on to have two kids with his affair partner
Now that his dad has passed away, this man is refusing to save his half-siblings from foster care
Thousands of children in foster care never get to experience the love and stability of a permanent family
There are approximately 400,000 children and youth in the United States foster care system at any given time. They range from infants to 21-year-olds (in some states). They’re there through no fault of their own. Some have been mistreated, others neglected, abandoned or orphaned. All have suffered loss.
According to the experts at AdoptUSKids, the median amount of time that a child spends in foster care is just over a year. “More than half of the children in foster care will be reunified with their parents or primary caregivers, and nearly one-quarter will be adopted, many by their foster parents,” notes the site.
But not all will get to experience the love and stability that a permanent family has to offer. Approximately 20,000 youth will age out of the foster care system each year. Either when they turn 18 or 21, or when they finish high school (depending upon the state in which they live.)
“These children are at increased risk of poor educational outcomes, experiencing homelessness, and being unemployed,” warn the foster care and adoption experts.
It’s a sentiment echoed by the team at the National Council For Adoption. They stress that growing up in a safe and stable family environment is critical for children’s wellbeing.
“Each additional day that a child spends in foster care reduces the time they have to form strong attachments to permanent, stable family figures and increases the likelihood they will experience another placement change,” the NCFA’s site reads. “Over time, this lack of stability can shape a child’s mental health, educational outcomes, and ability to form stable relationships well into adulthood.”
It reveals that in 2024, 30% of children who exited foster care spent more than two years in foster care. Of those 64,121 children and youth, about 35,000 of them spent three or more years in care.
So what happens when siblings find themselves in the foster care system? Should they be adopted together?
“In an ideal world, the answer would be yes,” say AdoptUSKids’ experts. “Research suggests that siblings placed together experience lower risk of failed placements, fewer moves, and many emotional benefits.”
They add that even when siblings have been separated in foster care, the ultimate goal should be to find them a safe, permanent home where they can grow up together.
“We’re literal strangers”: He provided more details while engaging with netizens
Some people felt the man’s decision was completely justified
Others reminded him that he has siblings, whether he likes it or not
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They are young, just starting out their lives. They may also want to be child free. We are not in a position to tell 20 year olds to flip their lives upside down.
Sorry, this is not his problem. It's unfortunate that the kids parents were so irresponsible as to not have made arrangements for their kids should anything happen to them. But few 25 year olds are ready to take on the care of multiple children they have no past relationship with. It's sad for the kids, but it's not realistic to expect this young man to take it on.
Multiple things can be true at the same time. OP does not have an obligation to become instant parents to kids he's never met. AND it can be a terrible thing that the kids are now orphaned. The judgy relatives should look at themselves & ask why they are not stepping up. Everyone COULD do more to help the kids but no one can be made to take on 2 dependents.
Too bad the parent didn't make arrangements like any responsible parent would, but then their low character was already established.
Load More Replies...They are young, just starting out their lives. They may also want to be child free. We are not in a position to tell 20 year olds to flip their lives upside down.
Sorry, this is not his problem. It's unfortunate that the kids parents were so irresponsible as to not have made arrangements for their kids should anything happen to them. But few 25 year olds are ready to take on the care of multiple children they have no past relationship with. It's sad for the kids, but it's not realistic to expect this young man to take it on.
Multiple things can be true at the same time. OP does not have an obligation to become instant parents to kids he's never met. AND it can be a terrible thing that the kids are now orphaned. The judgy relatives should look at themselves & ask why they are not stepping up. Everyone COULD do more to help the kids but no one can be made to take on 2 dependents.
Too bad the parent didn't make arrangements like any responsible parent would, but then their low character was already established.
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